Call Center Life

this is a story of our life....

BUHAY CALL CENTER

eto ang mga side effects ng pagtatrabaho sa mga call centers...

1. dahil halos di na kayo nagkikita ng nanay at tatay mo, ang tawag na nila sayo ay "boarder" at sinisingil ka na nila sa upa mo! (uy magbayad ka!)
2.pag sasagot ka ng telepono, lagi na lang may opening spiel...exampol : ring ! ring ! ....tenk u for calling (the company) this is (your name)! how may i help you?
3. eksperto ka na sa power nap, yung mga 15min break nyo, itinutulog mo na lang...para fresh pagka kolls uli, mamaya na yung 1 hour nap...
4. di mo na alam bumiyahe pag may araw, nalilito ka bakit andaming tao, at bakit di na dumadaan ang dyip dun sa mga kalsada na 1 way....
5.mas sanay ka ng matulog ng nakabussiness attire...na mimiss mo yung matigas na sahig ng opisina nyo...tsaka yung malamig na aircon.
6. sanay kang maglaka-lakad ng nakamedyas.
7. ang tawag mo sa mga friends mo...dude, bro, coach, tl, sup.
8. di na dugo ang dumadaloy sayo, kape na. nung nagpaospital ka ang nilagay sayo dextrose na my instant coffee.
9. sanay kang makipagusap kahit tulog...pagtinanong ka ng kahit ano, tama ang sagot mo...ummmm naghihilik ka pa hayup ka!
10. tadaaaaa! nag sasalita ka sa pagtulog mo, pati kols mo napapanaginipan mo, at minsan,! sinampal ka ng kapatid mo dahil nagsisigaw kang sup call! sup call! sup call!
11. pumuputi ka na dahil di ka na naaarawan.
12. sanay ka nang matulog kahit maingay sa loob at labas ng bahay nyo.
13. kinalimutan ka na ng mga kaibigan mo dahil existing ka lang pag tulog na sila.
14. sanay ka na sa mga prank callers at mga death threats na nakasulat lang.. sa dami ba naman ng ma-encounter mong ganito gabi-gabi sa trabaho eh.
15. di ka na sanay sa traffic. papasok at pauwi sa trabaho walang traffic.
16. di na tama ang oras ng pagkain mo. breeakfast mo ay hapunan na. lunch mo sa madaling araw. dinner mo pag uwi mo sa umaga. pag Rest Day mo naman at natulog ka sa gabi, magigising ka pa din pag madaling araw na. iba na ang body clock mo.
17. lahat ng kasabay mo sa jeep pag papasok ka, pagod na. ikaw lang ang bagong ligo at bagong gel.
18. maski sa bahay, mabilis kang kumain.
19. nde ka na kilala ng aso nyo.
20. tawag sa auto mo ay taxi, kasi palaging gabi bumabyahe.
21. wala ka nang pakialam sa buhay.
22. nahihiya kang magpunta sa mga reunion lalo na't alam mong successful lahat ng ka-batch mo. 23. sasabihin mo field ng trabaho mo IT, di call center.
24. nasusuka ka na pag nakita mo ang pc sa bahay nyo..
25. sasabihin mong tech support engineer ka, pero rep ka lang..
26. pag payday... olats lahat sweldo ng mga kaklase mong board passer. (8k per month lang sila) isang kinsenas mo na yun.. :P
27. pag day off mo na lang ikaw nkakapaanood ng Eat Bulaga at MTB
28. Nde mo na kilala ang mga bagong artista.... si mahal at mura lang
29. nde mo n alam itsura ng mall...
30. di ka na maebs sa bhay, sanay ka n! a sa cr ng 5th floor or ibang floor.
31. gusto mo na ding maglagay ng alcogel sa banyo nyo..
32. ayaw mo nang pumasok sa internet cafe!
33. puro kalyo na wrist at daliri mo.
34. sanay ka na ding mag Niponggo. gozaimas!
35. maglo-lock ka ng pc kahit sa bahay na. pag pndot mo ng CTRL + ALT + DEL iba ang lalabas at matatawa ka na lang sa sarili mo dahil para kang gago.
36. sanay ka ng kumain sa harap ng pc mo kahit nsa bahay...
37. papasok ka sa ofc na nka-jeans, tshirt and cap (astig!)
38. mas malaki sweldo mo sa mga ka-batch mo, nagkakanda-kuba na sila sa trabaho nila
39. puro ka-age mo mga ka-opisina mo, walang old maids and DOMs!!
40. madalas ka ng mag pabili ng corn bits at chicharon sa ermats mo...
41. isa ka na rin sa mga nagbebenta sa free ads (you name it meron dito even endangered species)
42. pa! g nakakarinig ka ng Kaching!!! akala mo may mail ka na dumating. hehe
43. pindot mo ilong nung tindera kala mo vendo machine.... isa nga coke syet ilong pala yun! hehehehe... masama pa kung sa bumper na-pindot > mo.... syet!
44. na inlove ka na sa kape...
45. madalasa mong sabihin sa ka IM mo n "email chat n lang tyo"
46. sanay ka na makarinig ng napakalakas n pag singa ng sipon... dahil sa japs..
47. marami ka ng naipon na microwavable container
48. at ketchup galing mcdo at jollibee
49. pag nagkukwento ka sa mga barkada jargon lahat. di nila maintindihan ang ibig sabihin ng ticket..
50. bumibumili ka ng chicharon sa lahat ng sikyo n makita mo.. hehehhehehe
51. pag gumagamit k ng cr,, d ka na nagpa-flush.. kc akala mo kusa n lulubog ebs mo.
52. sawa ka na internet kasi sa trabaho panay ang browsing..
53. sanay ka na ang katabi mo sinusurprise visit ng GF niya akala kc nambababae.........
54. akala mo mo may sarili kang locker sa bahay nyo.....
55. at magtataka ka dahil hindi lahat ng hapon galit sa kumakain ng chicharon..
56. sanay ka ng magyosi o umidlip pag alas dos at alas kwuatro ng umaga
57. dito ka na makakakita ng gf, bf, or asawa. wala ka ng time maghanap sa labas.
58. pag may problema ka sa pc mo, una mong ginagawa ay clear cache at cookies..
59. yung iba dito na nakakahanap ng kabit nila eh........
60. nang ho-hoard ka na din ng tissue sa bahay
61. kala mo libre ang kape sa select...
62. libre parking mo sa building, klasmeyts mo nagbabayad araw-araw ng parking.. hahahaha
63. pag nag cr ka...sanay ka na sa gripo na automatic at toilet bowl...
64. nag hahanap ka sa kapitbahay nyo ng m! ga hapon....
65. pag binabati... ano nlang, pag kinukumusta ka ng mga kabarkada mo, lagi mo sinasabi, GOZAIMAS!!!!
66. naka id ka pa kahit nasa jeep
67. kaya mong tiisin na nde palitan ang damit mo ng 16 hours
68. pagtinanong ng mga ka tropa mo kung ano ang sinusupport mo... sabihin mo yahoo.com (hahahaha)
69. kasi pagsinabi mong passport, di nila alam yun. ako nga dito ko lang nalaman na may ganun pala eh..
70. ....yung uniform nga ng basketball may passport logo tanong sa akin nag-aayos kayo ng passport? hehehe anong travel agency? ayus! quote kita sa hongkong gusto mo!
71. Nasanay ka nang may katabing TL na hindi umuuwi. pagpasok mo nandun na. paguwi mo nandun parin.
72. kahit may malaki kayong speaker sa bahay gusto mo pa din naka-earphones!
73. pudpod na tenga mo sa kaka-pakinig ng paolo "payatot" santos
74. nung pinasok ng akyat bahay ang bahay nyo, magsisigaw ka ng HACKER!!!HACKER!!!
75. tanong na mahirap sagutin ... " pag-introduce urself na - first day sa sykes -engineering grad-" ..... em a nursing grad ; pt grad ; engineering graduate.BAT KA NANDITO ?...akala mo...talagang engineer ang kailangan....kasi nasa ads...technical support engineer.....hayyy hehehe......peace.
76. OO NGA PLA! DATI PAGNAGCOPY PASTE KA SA PC, GINAGAMIT MO ANG RIGHT CLICK, NGAYON, ctrl C AT ctrl V.
77. nagkaroon ka ng galit sa mga hapon at sana iniisip mo na kasama ka sa pangalawang dgmaang pandaigdaig at pingapapatay mo yang mga *&^%$$#@# hapon na yan!
78. naisip mo tuloy yung mga comfort women at gays nung panahon na yun.
79. dati 1 word per minute ka kabilis magtype, ngayon 2 words per minute. sanay kc copy and paste lang kya na! SF.
80. kahit sa bahay, mahilig ka na mag chenes, chuba, chubaloo at charing...
81. sanay ka nang matulog ng dilat ang mata...kasi d pwde pahuli
82. lahat ng style ng pagtulog....maiisip mo...
83. lahat ng kaibigan mo may christmas vacation ikaw wala
84. habang umiihi ka may nagtatanong kung anong oras na
85. yung ex mo may kasama ng iba
86. lahat ng holiday pumapasok ka kasi double pay malaki ang bayad.
87. d2 ka n sa opisina nakabili lahat ng gamit mo.. -2nd hand celfon - 2nd hand pc - sabon - shampoo -sapatos - tocino - longganisa - hikaw - magazine - tv - ref - aso - libro - tshirt - pants - prepaid card - vcd - dvd -yema pati apartment d2 ka nakakuha
88. d2 ka na nasanay kumain ng! pagkain na luto sa microwave
89. d2 ka na nakatikim ng kape na may ipis
90. kahit syampoo ng kabayo meron... hahahaha
91. gusto mo na den bumili ng water dispenser kasi pitsel lang ang nasa bahay nyo...
92. ok lang sayo uminom ng kape na may ipis kase no choice!
93. dami mo na naiipon na stirrer(red) galing starbucks kakabili ng kape.
94. nasanay ka nang mgpadeliver ng pagkain.
95. nakakita ka ng artista na nagbebenta ng pgkain sa pantry.
96. dito ka lang makakakita ng pinagsama samang tinda na: medyas, vitamins, christmas lights, cologne. yosi, siomai at lahat ng klase ng pagkain, relos, kalendaryo, stuff toys, make up, kikay kit, deodorant, kwintas, sasakyan, camera, video, audio, foot spa , milk spa, bags wallet, sinturon, mamon, hamon...
97. d2 ka na expose sa tapa king, zuppa, yellow cab, jugnos, bermuda hotel's, pancit canton! , wendy's. north park, star bucks..
98. di mo maenjoy christmas party kasi kaylangan mo bumalik sa office dahil may pasok ka pa ng C shift.
99. ice tea ka lang, mga kasama mo.. beer!! syet!
100. sumasama ka pa sa email chat maski wla ka na sa Sykes... shift pa nila! ayus move on with your life....
101. nanghihingi ka pa ng baon sa nanay mo kahit mas malaki sweldo mo sa kanya..
102. tapos yung fud magtatake out ka na lang. dito mo na lang sa office kakainin.
103. kapag may national crisis at rally... di ka makakasama... pakikinggan mo na lang sa radyo
104. lahat na ng rason para umabsent nagawa mo na
105. dito sa opisina mo nararanasan na napakabagal ng oras!
106. d2 lang ako nakakilala ng mga taong ang tindi mangarap...lalo na pagdating sa mga babae
107. pantry carenderia!
108. kapag may gusto kang bilhin...titingin ! ka muna sa free-ads...

Hay, buhay call center nga naman...

The English Girl

A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good
trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring
for
you?"

The husband laughs and says: "An English girl !!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey,
how
was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you.""And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked?

"The one I asked for- the English girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said

"Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if
itis a girl !!!"

Moral of the story: "Don't tempt a woman, they are too intelligent"

Home Remedies

HOME REMEDIES:

1) If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of

boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost

instantly removed.

2) Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself when cutting vegetables by getting someone

else to hold them while you chop away.

3) Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply

using the sink.

4) High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for awhile,

thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5) A mouse trap, placed on top of the alarm clock, will prevent you from

rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6) If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be

afraid to cough.

7) Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget

about the toothache.

AND... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are:

* You need only two tools, WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move

and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

* Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

* If you wake up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

* And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never

know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan

Advice for Men from Women

IF ONLY GUYS KNEW...

1. That sometimes it doesn't really matter how a

guy looks, it's the

vibe

that matters.

2. That most of the time, girls can't remember

how a guy really looks

like,

just maybe his voice...or his eyes...or his

smile.

3. That if you can make a girl laugh, you

are "IN". Girls would rather

spend their time laughing and talking to an ugly

guy than bear with a

non-interesting, pea-brained, humorless Baldwin.

4. That guys and girls can be just FRIENDS and

not necessarily MORE

than

that. Sometimes guys are perceived only as

friends and unwelcome

lovers.

5. That it's not entirely easy for girls to

reject guys.

6. And that it's not the guy's fault when he's

rejected.

7. That when a when a girl says "NO"; by golly,

she MEANS it!

8. That girls don't really appreciate being

called "babe" or "chickababes" or "chicks" in their presence.

9. That it's not the girl's fault if she's not

automatically perfect -

meaning, so what if she's horizontally-

challenged? READ: Fat!

10. That it's a fact of life that guys mature

three years behind girls

(hey, girls DO mature faster than guys do!)

11. That most of the time (actually ALL the

time), girls appreciate it

when

guys act like gentlemen - like the opening-of-

the-

car-doors kind

12. That certain girls are acutely aware when

guys are teasing each

other

about certain girls (especially when

those 'certain girls' are right

there).

13. That when guys act like gays, girls find it cute :)

14. that girls are naturally "malambing",and that a girl finds it

insulting if the guy doesn't reciprocate her sweetness :(

15. That it's really impolite to stare at girls

no matter how sexy or

skinny the girl is (There

is such a word as SUBTLE!)

16. That it doesn't take 2 minutes for a girl to

look beautiful - it

takes

a much longer period of time. (Admit it, don't

you think it's worth the

wait?)

17. That when girls act really bitchy, it's just

one of those

days...like a

specific period of time in a month or she

doesn't like u...

18. That when girls don't say anything when

they're with guys, it

doesn't

mean that they don't know anything...or don't

LISTEN.

19. That when guys talk, girls listen; and when

girls talk, they expect

the

same amount of interest and attention.

20. That if a guy can turn off their emotions

like faucets,

well...girls

CAN'T!

21. That when guys say they'll call, they'd

better! (Ugh, still

waiting...)

22. That tardiness doesn't exactly make a good

impression on girls.

23. That it's impossible for girls to go to the

ladies' room alone;

they

have to go in little groups. (Now, don't ask

why...they just have to.)

24. That smoking is tolerable, but continuous

smoke being blown in your

face isn't.

25. That guys dig their own graves when they

make

insensitive remarks

about

girls.

26. That when guys act like complete 'assholes',

girls almost always

end up

forgiving them (it's what you call 'compassion')

But forgiveness isn't

easy

you know, you have to go through that "down on

bended knees" things.

27. That when girls text u sweet mushy quotes,

they actually MEAN it... (sana lang guys ren!)

28. That maybe it's about time guys write

something about the things

they

wish gals knew...

A FEW TIPS:

1. It doesn't matter how expensive a present you

get her, if she loves

you,

anything you give will be precious.

2. Women only go astray when they aren't getting

enough of what they

need

from the fella back home, on the other hand, men

will go astray anyway.

3. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A 5-

minute call to someone who

loves you is all it takes to brighten up her day.

4. When a gal tells you that she needs to talk

to

you, it isn't always

bad

news. Women just need to talk, it's an escape

mechanism. When she STOPS

talking to you start worrying. *Grin*

5. When you say you'll call, the girl expects

you

to call. When a gal

says

she'll call, she will. *Sigh*

6. Women need verbal assurance more than guys do.

7. A secure woman would rather give you the

benefit of the doubt. An

insecure woman will make mountains out of

molehills.

8. If a gal suddenly starts to ignore you, think

over your actions the

last

24 hours for the answer

*ya! coz she wont give it to you..(well,most won't)

psycho speaks... about schools...

This is an article written by an ex-officematesin ACNielsen about the diff. universities in Manila...

Try reading it, kakatuwa especially the part about NU...



Psycho Speaks
Vol 10

Psycho Speaks...on School Pride

Any of you catch the previous La Salle - Ateneo game? The one where La
Salle blew a 15-point half time lead? The one that robbed many a Green's
wallet and savings accounts of their contents? The one that most of you
rubbed in my face the moment you saw me? Yeah, that one.

Well, it got me thinking of several things. Chief among which was how I
can get away with bleeding Cardona's throat for choking YET AGAIN! But it
also got me remembering about my college days. It seemed like eons ago
and yet some feelings seem so fresh today even after 6 years.

I was a diehard Archer fan back then. Win or lose I'd be at the games,
cheering and shouting for all I was worth. School Pride. You loved your
campus and hated the others.

We all outgrow it eventually. Or do we? Let's test it shall we? Listed
below are several schools and what I think of them. Try to see what you
feel after reading what this jack-off had to say about your university.
Enjoy.


ATENEO

This school's trademark is arrogance. Nothing more, nothing less. I
have, to this day, not met an Atenean who does not think that their school
is THE best there is. Even La Sallites and um, uh, UP people (what do you
call yourselves anyway?) are not this shamelessly boastful. This does not
mean to say however, that they are all pricks and witches. Some of the
best buds I have are Ateneans. All two of them. But come on! Seriously,
the only thing Ateneo can claim to be the best in is creating a 2-hour
gridlock over a road stretching 3 damned kilometers!!!

Oh, and Interdisciplinary Studies is NOT a course. It's Jesuit charity
for the incurably dumb and lazy.

ADAMSON

Hmmm, let's see what I can say about Adamson. Well, there's the fact
their school color is blue like Ateneo. Their team mascot is a bird like
Ateneo. Aside from that, there's not a shred else. Damn this school is
boring.

FEU and UE

Do any of you know what FEU stands for? Forever Useless! Yes, I'm an ass.
But joking aside, the Far Eastern University and the University of the
East are two schools whose names imply that at least one of them was
founded by a group of people who had the creative, artistic, and
imaginative prowess of a pile of rocks.

Seriously though, these are feel good schools. If you don't believe me
try visiting either campus. The moment you see them, you start feeling
good that you don't go there.

UP

Here's a school that, for better or worse, is totally bereft of any
identity. Some people regard it as THE premier educational institution in
the country. There are those who, for good reason, look at it simply as
one big vicious playground. And others see it as a breeding ground for
militant wannabe rebels who try to lobby for whatever cause they deem to
be in the country's best interest. For those of you who can truly relate
with the latter you have to be in your late 40's or 50's. Shit you're
OLD!!! La lang.

I favor the first two views. It really IS the best educational
institution there is. And I'm not just saying that because I'm surrounded
all day by UP graduates who'd just as soon throw me off the 11th floor
balcony given the slightest provocation as look at me. I really, really
do believe...that they will kill me if I say anything bad against UP. Can
you blame me? The only thing longer than the list of UP's distinguished
alumni (Miriam Defensor included) is the list of all the in-campus
violence. There's a psycho lurking deep inside each UP educated
man/woman/child. This will be confirmed by the amount of hate mail I'll
be receiving from them.

UST

Here's a school that will totally drag down one's social status just by
being enrolled in it. I don't care how rich you are or how cultured you
may be, if you're from UST it don't mean shit. That's not necessarily a
bad thing. I know of several obnoxious AB kids who were brought down
several pegs while studying there and are now some of the nicest, most
unassuming people to walk this planet.

It's funny to note how much this place of learning mirrors the current
social state of the country every time the UAAP season kicks in. Come the
basketball tournament, they're all friends. You see them chanting,
clapping, and giving each other high-fives. United by a common goal, the
rich and the poor are united as one. After the event is passed, they all
go back to hating each other.

DLSU

Di Lumusot Sa UPCAT. That's a classic ain't it? It's as hilarious now as
it was when I first heard it in 1994, which is to say, it's about as funny
as getting kicked in the crotch. It's sad to note for a proud alumnus
such as myself that a school with as impressive an academic pedigree as La
Salle has become nothing more than a money-hungry institution whose only
requirements for acceptance nowadays seem to be a pulse, an IQ over 80,
and the financial capacity/ability to pay.

Nowadays, whenever I incounter a person clayming to be from La Sall and
they speech bad, have poor grammage, and cannot spill correctness, I am
not surprice.

NU

I'm not even sure if this place is a real school. And I don't mean that
in a snooty-you're-nothing-compared-to-my-school way. I mean I'm not even
sure this place actually exists. I actually started believing that its
initials really stood for Negative sa UPCAT.

Think about it. Do any of you really know anyone from NU? Do any of you
even know of anyone who knows anybody from NU?

And if any of you even point to their basketball team and the audience
that watches its games as proof of its existence, I beg you to think of
this point. They act like absolute maniacs and they even look the part.
If we go by that, then the National University is not a school. It's a
correctional facility.

CSB

This school has had a bad rep since the day of its inception. Admittedly,
it started out as a place where DLSU can deposit its non-performing
students so as not to give up the sizeable revenues from those hopeless
bastards who have the money to shell out but not the ability to count it.
Everybody knows this already.

What people don't know is that CSB now boasts of fine world class courses
designed to equip the Benildean with the tools necessary to succeed in the
real world. These courses include Basic Arithmetic majoring in the
Multiplication Table, Whining with a specialization on Tantrums, and the
ever popular Strategic Investments: What to do with your Parents' Money.

CRC/UAP

Them Opus Dei folks can slap it with whatever initials they deem fit, it
would still not change the fact that this school will forever be known not
by its academic achievements but more by the fact that it is the only
school with a car to student ratio nearing 1:1. (No my dear CSB students
and alums, that is not read as one colon one.)

The meanest thing one can say about CRC is that it's a school filled with
students rich enough to be Ateneans, but will never be smart enough to be
such. The nicest thing one can say about CRC is that it's near a
Starbucks open until 2 am.


Now I realize I might have offended some people out there. Let me tell
you right now that I am whole-heartedly and humbly sorry. I am sorry that
you have no sense of humor and nobody had the heart to whack your uptight
head when you were growing up.

For those of you did appreciate this, I give seminars on insensitivity and
creatively callous writing. Feel free to email me.

Peace and chill folks.

-psycho!!!