Home Remedies

HOME REMEDIES:

1) If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of

boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost

instantly removed.

2) Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself when cutting vegetables by getting someone

else to hold them while you chop away.

3) Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply

using the sink.

4) High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for awhile,

thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5) A mouse trap, placed on top of the alarm clock, will prevent you from

rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6) If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be

afraid to cough.

7) Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget

about the toothache.

AND... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are:

* You need only two tools, WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move

and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

* Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

* If you wake up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

* And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never

know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan