Thursday, July 06, 2006

75 lessons that MUST be learned in relationships

75 lessons that MUST be learned in relationships

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be...

6. Don't force an attraction.

7. Slower is better.

8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.

11. Don't settle.

12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?

14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not
better.

15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.

16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.

18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
why would he treat you any differently?

19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.

21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.

24. Be honest and upfront.

25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).

27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).

28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.

29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard.

31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!

34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.

35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.

36. Actions speak louder than words.

37. Never let a man define who you are.

38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.

39. Never borrow someone else's man.

40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with
him.

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.

43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life.

44. Love is a verb ...

45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and
someone unloving-loving.

46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

47. All men are NOT dogs.

48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.

50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complementary...not supplementary.

53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.

55. Never become your man's "therapist".

56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.

57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work.

58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he
wouldn't do for you.

59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.

60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure him to spend time with you, You cant force a man to hang out with you.

61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.

62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

63. Never move into his mother's house.

64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.

65. Never co-sign for a man.

66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.

67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.

68. Never let a man mess up your credit.

69. When it's time to let go; let go.

70. Good men should be treated like good men.

71. Don't play games.

72. You can't make a whore into a housewife - or husband.

73. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.

75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.

NAGTATAKA KA BA KUNG BAKIT KA PA SINGLE?

NAGTATAKA KA BA KUNG BAKIT KA PA SINGLE?

SINGLE: Minsan ayos lang kase free na free ka gawin kung ano ang gusto mo o kaya makakapunta ka kung saan mo gusto pumunta pero kung minsan, lalo na't malamig ang hanging o kya maganda ung view, magwiwish ka na sana may yumayakap sa yo, hahalikan ka sa noo at tititignan ka ng parang ikaw na ata ang pinakamagandang babae sa mundo. nakakamiss yun.

kaya heto, susubukan ko bilangin ang mga dahilan kung bakit single pa tayo. Gaano katagal na ba tayo walang nagiging boyfriend?



1. Masyadong independent


baka naman masyado mo napoproject na kaya mong mabuhay ng wala silang lahat, ayan tuloy parang hindi nila maramdaman na kailangan mo rin sila kaya dun nalang sil! a sa taong tingin nila ay magkakaron sila ng silbi.



2. Mataas ang standards mo


siguro hindi na natanggal sa isip mo ung pangarap mo nung bata ka pa. aba, kelangan mo na gumising sa katotohanan na walang ideal guy. ok cge, kung makita mo nga ung hinahanap mo na gwapong matalino na mayaman na mabait pero nung nakasama mo naman eh nakita mo hindi pala pantay ang kuko niya sa hinlalaki o kaya naman sobrang bad breath niya sa umaga o kaya naman daig pa ang tambucho sa lakas manigarilyo...oh eh di turn-off ka na? kung lahat ng tao ay katulad mo na mataas ang standards, malamang wala ng magboyfriend at maggirlfriend ngayon. puro friends nalang.



3. Ubod ka ng kasungitan


maski naman kahit sino hindi masarap lapitan at kausapin ang taong mukhang nangangain ng tao tapos liligawan pa? dapat kc kahit konti maging approachable ka naman para kahit na hindi ka kagandahan, madidiskubre niya na masarap ka palang kausap at masaya kang kasama.



4. Masama ang ugali


kung papipiliin ako kung sa masungit at sa masama ang ugali, dun na ko sa masungit! ang masungit kc, hindi likas na itim ang budhi nyan, may taglay na istorya sa likod ng simangot niya. sabihan mo lang yan ng 'peek-a-boo' BAKA ngitian ka na. ibang istorya na kase ang masama ang ugali dahil mula pa yang ugali na yan sa kaibuturan ng kanyang mga balunbalunan. sa una mabait pero madidiskubre mo na parang trapo ang tao kung tratuhin nito. tsk tsk tsk. pero hindi pa naman huli ang lahat, kung kaya mo pa magbago, bigyan mo ng pagkakataon ang sarilli mo magbago. magdasal ka kay lord. ng mataimtim ha.



5. Nagkukulong sa bahay


walang makaka-appreciate sa panloob o panlabas na beauty mo kung nagkukulong ka lang sa bahay. ok, nanjan nga ang nanay mo para sabihin na maganda ka pero im sure umay na umay na rin yan sa pagmumukha mo kaya mas maigi kung lumabas ka...pagkagaling sa office, pwede ka magmall o kya gumimik kasama mga officemates mo, o kaya naman sumali sa mga organization sa simbahan or sa neighborhood.



6. Mukha kang losyang


ito ang kadalasang krimen ng mga single. hindi ka nagbibigay ng panahon para ayusin ang sarili physically. at bakit pa nga ba e wala ka naman dahilan para mag-ayos, diba? MALI!!! dapat nga lalo ka mag-ayos para makita ang marketability mo. hindi krimen ang maging vain kahit konti. did u know na ang ratio ng lalaki sa babae ay 4:1? kaya lola, magsimula ka na mag-ayo! s at baka yung crush mo ay maagaw pa ng mga intrimitida sa paligid mo.



7. Masyadong magaling


medyo sensitive itong tapic na ito dahil nasasagasaan na ang male ego dito eh. oo, may ibang lalake na nabuburaot dahil mas magaling at mas marunong ang babae sa kanila. hindi na natin ito problema dahil malamang insecurity nila ang bumubulong sa kanila pero minsan kase hindi na makatarungan na laging nai-inferior ang lalake. kailangan maramdaman din nila saiyo na hindi mo sila ia-under the saya if maging girlfriend ka nila. hindi ko rin sinasabi na icompromise mo ang talents mo, ano bang magagawa ko kung likas na talentadong bata ka pero ang tamang gawin ay wag naman ipagdukdukan na sobrang galing mong tao. wag na wag mong kalimutan ng may 2 klaseng yabang dito sa mundo. wag kang mang-intimidate kung ayaw mong maintimidate.



8. Sobrang busy


alam mo ba ung kantang 'Narda'? ganyan ang mangyayari sa iyo, hanggang kanta nalang ang aabutin ng nagkakagusto sayo dahil maski pagpluck ng kilay mo wala kang time.



9. Dala ang bigat ng kahapon


may kasabihan nga, "how can u look forward when u keep looking back?" walang mangyayari sa love life mo kung dala mo pa ang kabiguan na dinulot ng nakaraan mo. walang sense ang magpakabitter dahil in the end, lalo ka lang papanget. panget na nga, bitter pa. tsaka wag kang matakot masaktan kung gusto mo magmahal muli. laging kaakibat ng love ang pain dahil hindi ka masasaktan kung hindi ka nagmahal. at isa pa, wag ka ring matakot na kunin ang pagkakataon kung nandiyan na sa harap mo. pano mo malalaman na masarap ang chocolate kung hindi mo titikman?



10. Masyadong masyado


masyado maganda, masyadong matalino, masyadong talented, at masyado mayaman. minsan ito ang mga nagiging factor kung bakit walang gustong manligaw sayo. pero hindi mo naman ito kasalanan diba? katulad din ito ng scenario sa #7. siguro mas maigi kung humble lang ka, wag mayabang, at imbis na maging hambog, share nalang the blessing. hindi ka lang maganda/matalino/talented/mayaman, mabait pa. im sure, lahat mahuhumaling sayo.



at eto ang pinakamatindi sa lahat:



11. Wala sa guhit ng palad mo ang magkaboyfriend!


shiyet! ang saklap naman nito kung ganun nga. hindi purkit na hindi ka na magkakaboyfriend ay loser ka na. malamang may nakalaan na plano sayo si Lord kaya gusto niya na wala kang boyfriend. siguro kaya wala kang boyfriend dahil kelangan ang full attention mo sa pagtulong sa pagtaguyod ng pamilya mo, baka yayaman ka at magiging tagapagmana mo mga pamangkin mo, baka kelangan ang full time and support mo sa organization mo...maraming dahilan eh pero nakakasiguro naman ako na walang bagay na nangyayari sayo na hindi kagustuhan ng nasa itaas. laging may greater purpose kung bakit nangyayari ang nangyayari.

kaya kung halimbawang may darating, wag na pakyeme. kung hindi mo type ang lalapit sayo, let it go gracefully dahil mahirap na at baka balikan ka ng karma. kung nandyan na, gawin nalang ang best para magstay siya sa buhay mo at hindi ka na nagtataka pa kung bakit single ka...

Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said:

"When I made the woman she had to be special

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,

yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.


The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."