HAVAIANAS VS. SPARTAN

HAVAIANAS VS. SPARTAN

Pangalan:Havaianas

Lugar na pinanggalingan: São Paulo , Brazil

Pagbigkas:
ah-vai-YAH-nas (Brazilian Portuguese)
hah-vee-ah-naz (American English)
OMG!-hAH- va- yaH-naZz!! (Filipino)

Materyal na ginamit:Malupit na goma (High-quality rubber).

Presyo:Hindi ko alam. Ganito na lang,
1 pares ng Havaianas = 16 pares ng Spartan

Mga nagsusuot: Mga konyotik at mga mayaman.

Malulupit na katangian at kakayahan:
- Masarap isuot.
- 'Shock-absorbent '
- Malambot ngunit matibay.
- Makukuha sa sandamakmak na kulay, disenyo at burloloy.
- Maaaring isuot sa loob ng Starbucks.
- Mainam na pang-japorms.
- Mainam i-terno sa I-Pod at Caramel Macchiato.
- Mapipilitan kang maglinis ng mga kuko mo sa paa.
- Maaari ka nang mag-dikwatro sa loob ng mga pampublikong lugar at sasakyan.
- Magiging 'fashionable' ka kapag ikaw ay nagkukuyakoy.

Olats na mga katangian:
Mahal!
Mahal!
Mahal!

____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ __

Pangalan: Spartan

Lugar na Pinanggalingan: Metro Manila , Philippines

Pagbigkas:
spar-tan (American English)
is-par-tan (Filipino)

Materyal na ginamit:Pipitsuging goma (Low-quality rubber).
Presyo: Wala pang 50 pesos.
Isang pares ng Spartan = 20 piraso ng pan de coco.

Mga nagsusuot: Ako at ang masa! Nyahaha!

Malulupit na katangian at kakayahan:
- Maaring ipampatay sa ipis.
- Maaring ipampalo sa mga batang suwail at damuho.
- Pwedeng ipanglusong sa baha at putikan.
- Pwedeng ipamalengke.
- Mainam gamitin sa tumbang-preso.
- Mainam gawing 'shield' kapag naglalaro ng espa-espadahan.
- Mainam isuot sa siko bilang proteksyon habang naglalaro ng piko.
- Mainam na pambato sa picha o shuttlecock na sumabit sa puno.
- Mainam na pangkulob sa pumuputok na watusi.
- Kapag ginupit-gupit nang pahugis 'cube,' e maaari mo nang
gawing pamato sa larong Bingo na kadalasang makikita sa mga lamay ng patay).

Olats na mga katangian:
* Madaling magkawalaan kapag hinubad dahil halos pare-pareho lang ang hisura.
* Masakit isuot kapag may mga balahibo ang mga daliri mo sa paa.
* Minsan kapag ipinambato mo ito sa picha o shuttlecock na nakasabit sa puno, e nadadamay pati yung tsinelas.

Leave of Absence

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of the world ...

1. A man asking for a leave to his boss:
An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from a loving father:
From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from a certain company.
Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From an Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post

THREE WISHES

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will look to?"

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers:

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!! Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to show that you women never listen!

Corporate Lesson #3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I normally grant three wishes, but as there are three of you, I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Poof! She's gone."Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life by my side."Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson #2:

A priest offered a lift to a nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her habit apart to reveal a shapely leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand onto her thigh. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her thigh again. The nun once again said, "Father, please remember Psalm 129!"

The priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.